


Feeling the liberation

by magenta



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Glam Rock RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-23
Updated: 2011-05-23
Packaged: 2017-10-19 17:26:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/203329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magenta/pseuds/magenta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Adam Lambert walked into the club that afternoon, he was there for an audition, for a job that would get him one step closer to his dream. What he got was amazing music, new leather pants, and Monte Pittman. Maybe it was more than he bargained for, but if you ask Adam, more is always better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feeling the liberation

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I know that Monte is never to be slashed, rule 35, etc...but give it a shot? :) Thanks to my beta janescott for betaing just days after surgery, and for admitting this story was kind of hot, even if it made her a little bit mad. <33 I couldn't do it without you! Also thanks to claire_kay for the awesome art! Her art is here: http://palejewels.livejournal.com/16327.html Title is from The Citizen Vein "Turning On", in a painfully obvious choice.

Adam had been to dozens of auditions, maybe even hundreds. He'd been for auditions for dream jobs and auditions for jobs he needed because he was sick of ramen noodles, and his heart gave an extra thump as he pushed open the door to the club; this job was definitely closer to dream territory. It had been longer than he cared to admit since he'd had an audition that was about more than the paycheque it promised, and even though Adam wasn't one to get nervous, there was definitely a different kind of tension crackling around him as he took a quick look around the club, getting his bearings. Clubs always looked weird in the daytime, the bright lights throwing things Adam felt like he was never supposed to see into sharp relief. He found his way to the stage, where another performer was wailing away, his face red with the effort of making it nowhere close to on-key.

“Thanks, we'll be in touch.” One of the men sitting in front of the stage spoke, his voice tired as he crossed the man's name off a list that Adam could see was really long. The man on stage shook out his long, shaggy hair, a look of confidence bordering on cockiness settled on his face as he stepped to the floor, brushing a little closer than necessary when he walked past Adam towards the door. Adam was young, but he wasn't naive, and it didn't take much to recognize the edge of frustration and maybe desperation beneath the man's confident look.

Not for the first time that day, Adam shook out his limbs and put a smile on his face, sticking out his hand to introduce himself to the men at the table. “Hi, I'm Adam. Adam Lambert.”

The man who sat in the centre of the table, the one with the tired voice looked up then and took Adam's hand. He was quiet for a moment while he shook Adam's hand, and then a wide smile spread across his face. “You're the one I keep hearing about. I'm Monte Pittman.”

“You've heard about me?” Adam was taken aback, and he felt a sudden rush of unexpected nerves hit him smack in the gut. He played it off, returning Monte's smile as he released his hand. “Good things, I hope?”

“More than good. Heard you're the best singer in LA.” Monte leaned back in his chair, taking another long, appraising look at Adam. “You ready to see if you live up to it?”

From someone else, the words may have been scathing, but Monte's voice was warm and his eyes were some of the kindest Adam had ever seen on the other side of the audition table. “You know I am.”

The second Adam stepped onto the stage, any nerves that were still jangling calmed, and he felt loose and ready. He heard the flick of the sound system coming to life, and then he just let go, letting the music flow into him and back out, his voice rising and falling and filling the small club easily. He'd been doing theatre for so long he'd almost forgotten what it felt like to let his voice go where it wanted to and let his body move the way it wanted to and not the way dozens of people were telling him it had to. He got so lost in it, that when music stopped, the silence in the club was nearly deafening. He blinked his eyes against the lights that seemed brighter than they had moments ago, turning his gaze back to Monte and the other bands members.

Monte's eyes were fixed on Adam, his gaze steady and measuring and unreadable. The men on either side of him were leaning in and whispering, and when they stopped Monte nodded. Adam head his breath for the several long seconds before Monte's face broke out into a huge grin, his eyes no longer looking tired. “Glad to know that it wasn't just hype. What do you think, you want to give it a shot?”

It took a lot of willpower for Adam to keep his grin from becoming a little bit manic, and he hopped off the stage. “Of course I do, thank you so much!” Adam reached the table with his hand out, shaking the hands of the two men on either side of Monte before clasping Monte's hand firmly. “Really, I can't thank you enough.”

“Well, I have to thank you too. The people in this town who think they're rock singers...” Monte trailed off as he slid his hand out of Adam's. “But you, you've got something. Hang on a second.”

Adam wiped his hands on his jeans, his palm tingling a little as Monte turned and dug through a bag. He handed Adam a burned CD with song titles scrawled across the cover in haphazard script. “This my homework?”

“Sure is, and don't procrastinate. First show is in three weeks, rehearsals start Thursday. See you then.” Monte clapped Adam on the back, and they shared one last smile before Adam was heading back out to his car, turning the CD over and over in his hand before sliding it out of the case and into the player. Immediately, the full sound of wailing guitars filled Adam's small car, and his hands started tapping against the steering wheel before he'd even pulled out of the parking lot. He drove home with the windows rolled down and a huge grin on his face. He didn't want to get ahead of himself, but as he listened to the music and imagined his own voice on top of that soaring guitar, he felt more optimistic than he had in months. This gig might go nowhere, but it might take him everywhere, and the possibility made Adam giddy.

By the time that first Thursday rolled around, Adam had already learned the words to all of the songs on the CD Monte had given him. Some were pretty straightforward rock songs, with lyrics about clubs and women and drinking, but the others, those were the ones Adam really liked. They were darker in a way, messier almost, and the lyrics rolled of his tongue like he'd been the one to write them. He'd listened to the CD so many times that he was starting to hear the beats and guitar solos when he closed his eyes, the notes singing him to sleep even when the room around him was totally silent. Even knowing the songs as well as he did, Adam's heart was thumping as he pulled into the parking lot of the rehearsal space, a standard square brick building that you'd drive by if you didn't know what you were looking for. Adam turned his car off and sat, just for a second, running through a quick series of affirmations in his head before heading into the building and following the sounds of tuning guitars.

Monte looked up when Adam walked into the room, and set his guitar down to come and greet him. "Hey, right on time. Come on, let me finally introduce you to the guys." His hand was warm on the small of Adam's back as he guided him around the room, and Adam shook hands with Matt and Rob and Jeff and another guy who'd mumbled his name so quietly that Adam had no shot of catching it. He wasn't going to remember who played what instrument and who was in charge of what tomorrow, but right now that didn't matter. "You ready to get started?"

Adam hadn't realized how lost in his head he'd gotten until he saw the amused look on Monte's face. "Yeah, let's do this!" Briefly, Adam mourned the loss of the comforting warmth of Monte's hand on his back, but then Monte was plugging in his guitar and playing a few practice riffs that blew most world famous rock stars out of the water and Adam found himself walking across the room. He didn't stop until he was right next to Monte, close enough to feel the vibrations of the guitar in his feet, his eyes fixed on Monte's fingers as they moved up and down the strings, fast enough that Adam couldn't even focus. Adam listened to a lot of music, all different kinds, and he was pretty sure he'd never heard anything quite like this. When Monte stopped, letting the music fade out, Adam actually had to take a breath.

"Wow. So, you're amazing." Adam took a step back, raking a hand through his hair.

Monte grinned and shrugged, and Adam appreciated that he didn't try and downplay his own talent. "I've been playing a long time. It's the only thing I was ever really good at." Adam nodded at that; it was definitely something he could relate to.

"You two done telling each other how awesome you are over there? It's time to make some music!" It was the mumbly guy that spoke, and from the way everyone else hopped to action, he figured that when that guy yelled, it meant business, and it meant now. The band assembled itself quickly behind Adam, each member moving with the ease of a group that had been playing together for a long time, and Adam tried not to feel intimidated. He took a deep breath, wrapped his hand around the microphone, and the music started, filling the rehearsal space and Adam's chest, and he felt nothing but good.

The weeks before their first show flew by in a blur of late nights, take-out dinners and too much beer. Any feelings of intimidation Adam had felt in the beginning disappeared almost immediately, and he found himself growing closer to all of the bands members, but Monte in particular. More often than not, Adam and Monte would still be in the rehearsal space long after the other guys had gone home, finishing the beer and lounging against the amps, talking about everything and nothing. Adam learned that Monte was from Texas, and that he'd almost broken into the business enough times that he should have been jaded. Instead, he talked about every rejection with a wry grin on his face, glad that even if the bills were hard to pay, at least all the music was his own. The more beer they drank the more Adam's tongue loosened, and he grew to love the bemused looks that Monte gave him when he recounted some of this more interesting stories. One night, when Adam was telling Monte about a night at Burning Man that involved a giant stuffed bunny, a bottle of lube and enough twinkle lights to light up the strip, they both ended up flat on their backs, laughing until tears ran down the faces and soaked into the cheap carpet of the rehearsal space.

"You are kind of ridiculous, man." Monte wiped a hand over his eyes and rolled up onto one elbow, draining his beer. "Who even has stories like that?"

"And you know, at the time the whole thing made perfect sense. It wasn't till I got home and started telling my mom about it that I realized that like ... not everyone does that." Adam rolled to face Monte, his own empty beer bottle resting against his hip.

"I love that you told your mom that, takes guts." Monte grinned at Adam, reaching out to nudge his shoulder. "Ready to use those guts tomorrow? Take that club and show it who's boss?"

Adam sat up, running his hand through his hair and grinning back. "Oh my God, I'm so excited. I'd say you have no idea, but I'm pretty sure you do."

"Yeah, I think so. I remember my first time up on stage performing my own music and having people like it ... it was pretty incredible. You think you'd want to try writing with us, if the show goes well? I don't know if you've ever tried it, but I think you'd be good at it." Monte took Adam's empty bottle from his hand and tossed it into the box with his own.

"You do? I mean ... I've tried, mostly on my own, but I would definitely be into that." Adam already loved the music that they were playing, but the idea of it being his own words he was singing, even just his own ideas ... that was pretty incredible.

"Well, we'll see how the shows go and throw some ideas around, see what happens." Monte clapped Adam on the shoulder again, and looked down at his watch, sighing as he heaved himself to his feet. "Oh, Jesus, man. It's late, we gotta get out of here. Get some sleep.”

“I'm not so sure if that'll happen, but I'll try.” Adam grinned as he hefted his backpack onto his shoulder and followed Monte toward the door, throwing one last look at the darkened rehearsal space behind them. It didn't look like much; the band had taken all their instruments with them, and that was left were a few amps and a microphone hanging over the edge of one. Adam's heart thumped and his hand tightened on the doorknob; it wasn't really nerves, not the scared kind anyways, but the excited kind that made his blood thrum and his skin itch like something was trying to get out. He started when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and was actually momentarily shocked to see Monte looking up at him, a mostly bemused look on his face.

“Come on, rockstar. We gotta lock the doors.” Monte slid his hand down Adam's arm to his elbow and pulled him outside, the sound of the lock clicking into place echoing through the dark, empty parking lot. “You okay to drive?” When Adam nodded, Monte gave him a quick wave and headed over to his beat up car, putting his guitar in the backseat gently enough that Adam almost expected him to buckle it in. There was a chill in the air, and Adam rubbed his hands over his bare arms as he walked towards his own car, his skin still feeling a little electric. This time tomorrow he was going to be on a stage, in front of a band, instead of buried in a chorus. He drove home with the windows down and the stereo blaring, excitement and anticipation pushing his foot down a little harder on the gas pedal and raising his voice a little higher as he sang along to the radio.

~*~

The club was packed the night of their first show, and Adam was practically vibrating with nervous energy as he wrapped his fingers around a lukewarm bottle of water, taking a long swig to wet his dry lips. He and the other members of the band were crammed into the small space that passed for the wings of the stage, and he could feel their excitement mingling with his own, making the air feel almost electric around them.

“You ready, man?” Monte's hand clasped onto Adam's shoulder, and Adam grinned down at him, Monte's eyes flashing with almost child-like glee.

“You fucking know I am, let's do this.” Adam stepped out onto the stage and it didn't matter that it was a small stage in a club or that there were only a few hundred people in the audience, some of whom couldn't care less about what was going on on the stage. He felt like a rockstar when the bright lights hit him and Monte's guitar started wailing behind him. Adam tightened his grip on the microphone and started to sing, a smirk the corners of his mouth when he saw a few of those people turn to face the stage with a sudden look of interest on their faces. He felt alive.

The show seemed like it was speeding by, and Adam felt like he'd hardly started a song before it was over and they were on to the next one. He made the most of the small stage, stalking to the edge and leaning out into the crowd, moving to the back to toss his hair to the beat of the drums. But like there was some kind of magnetic force, Adam kept finding himself drawn to Monte, coming up behind him to sing in his ear, or pausing in front of him to let Monte's solos wash over him, eyes shut and head tossed back. As the show went on, Adam got closer and closer, sliding a hand down Monte's chest or teasing his fingers over the frets of his guitar just to see the grin and wild flash of Monte's eyes. Adam always got charged up on stage, full of energy that was desperate to be released, but this felt different, and it only egged him on to see Monte reacting.

Their set was almost over, just one song left when the tension on stage finally bubbled over. The song was loud and heavy, the beat the kind of music that made Adam's hips sway without him even having to think about it. He let his voice soar higher and higher, giving it the kind of rough rasp that made people's minds wander, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Monte walking towards him, eyes locked on Adam's. Adam turned to face him, his voice trailing off as Monte's solo began and before Adam knew what he was doing he dropped to his knees in front of Monte's guitar, arching his back and making noises into the mic that walked the line between singing and moaning. His knees were spread and Monte stepped forward until he was as close as he could get, the guitar only inches from Adam's face. With his free hand Adam slid his fingers up the back of Monte's leg as high as he could reach, digging into his thigh and feeling just a little gratified when Monte's fingers slipped on the strings. When the song ended it felt horribly abrupt, even if it wasn't, and Adam found himself nearly frozen in place on the floor.

The crowd may have been small but they were loud, cheering as Monte held out a hand and heaved Adam to his feet, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him close as they took their bows. He looked up at Adam with a look in his eyes that Adam recognized as the one he got after performing, excited and on edge and everything at once. Adam's blood was thrumming hard through his veins and he felt like his heart was about to pound out of his chest, and a little bit like he was watching this scene from the outside looking in. They stumbled off the stage and down the hall to the little dressing room, all high-fives and 'fuck yeahs', and before Adam really even knew what he was doing, he had Monte up against the wall of the dressing room, their mouths pressed together in something that was a little too hard-edged to be a kiss. It wasn't until Monte's hands slid up Adam's back and Adam felt Monte's tongue pressed against his lips that Adam's brain got in on the action, and he pulled back reluctantly, raking a shaky hand through his hair as one of the other guys started a slow clap at the other end of the dressing room.

“Hey, don't stop now, that was a damn good show!” Matt was grinning ear to ear from his position leaned against the wall, and the other guys looked pretty much the same.

“Damn right it was a good show, now go pack up your drums, man. We gotta be out of here before 12.” Monte's voice was firm but he was grinning, and he waited till the other guys had grumbled and cleared the room before turning that grin to Adam. “Next time, wait till they're not in the room,” he said, with an exaggerated wink that made Adam chuckle before he'd even had time to absorb Monte's words. What did he mean by “next time”?

Adam found out at the next show exactly what Monte meant by “next time”. They'd had a few rehearsals in between, and after a few good-natured jabs by the other guys, they'd gotten down to business and nothing seemed to have changed. On stage however, something was definitely different. As much as Adam moved around the stage, Monte matched him step for step, and every time Adam turned around Monte was there. Never one to turn down a good performance opportunity, Adam played into it, bending forward when Monte leaned back, the lines of their bodies mirroring one another. He let Monte take his hand and slide it down the neck of the guitar, fingers laced together as they worked over the strings. Adam dropped to his knees again to end the show, but this time Monte came closer, his shin bumping up against the bulge in Adam's tight jeans, making Adam's voice soar higher and rougher, the crowd going wild as Monte's fingers flew faster over the strings.

When they got off stage, Adam couldn't tell if he was pulling Monte or if Monte was pulling him, but the next thing he knew they were in the dressing room, small and nearly indistinguishable from the one before it, and still blissfully empty when Adam's back slammed against the closed door. Adam had a half-second to be shocked before Monte's lips were on his, one hand fisted hard enough in Adam's hair that at any other time he would complain. Monte's blunt fingernails scrapped over Adam's scalp and Adam let himself slump against the door, sliding down until they were more evenly matched and he could feel Monte's cock pressing hard against his thigh. He rocked up against it, pressing his own cock against Monte's leg, a surge of pride going through at the groan that spilled from Monte's mouth before he deepened the kiss.

Adam could hear people walking past the dressing room, could hear them talking and laughing and mingling in the hallway, but he didn't care, and Monte obviously didn't either. Monte dragged the hand that wasn't tangled in Adam's sweaty hair down Adam's chest to his waist, guitar-calloused fingers teasing under the hem of his t-shirt and over sensitive skin. Adam's breath quickened and he hooked his fingers in Monte's belt loops to pull their hips together harder, both of them gasping when their cocks bumped together. Monte's hand shoved into Adam's tight jeans, fingers just barely able to brush over the head of his cock, but the touch was enough to have Adam groaning and arching into it, the kiss getting wet and messy as they ground against one another.

Monte's hips snapped against Adam's and he started to babble against Adam's lips, his breath hot. “Fuck, fuck, Adam...” His voice was wrecked, rough and ragged like Adam had never heard it, and he responded by shoving one hand down the back of Monte's jeans, nails digging into the flesh there, just enough to hurt.

“Oh God, come on, come on.” Adam didn't know if he was talking to Monte or himself, but it didn't matter. He was right on the edge, his legs shaking from holding himself up, his cock aching from the too-much-not-enough feeling of Monte's fingers stroking over the head. His orgasm hit him hard and fast when Monte's teeth bit down on his lip, almost like the pain had shocked it out of him. He felt himself spill into his jeans and over Monte's fingers, and he groaned at the slick-wet feeling of Monte's fingers dragging out of his jeans and over his belly. His mouth went dry as he watched Monte push his come-shiny hand into his own jeans, and he imagined what it must look like underneath the fabric. Rough fingers wrapped around his hard cock, red and aching, skin glistening with a smear of Adam's come as he worked himself over. Adam felt a distant twitch in his spent cock at the thought and reached out, one hand grabbing the back of Monte's neck and pulling him down for a deep, bruising kiss. He felt the moment that Monte came, his shout lost in Adam's mouth as his body tensed and then went near limp against him, the door behind them the only thing keeping them from crumbling to the floor.

Monte was the first to move, stepping back from Adam with a wince. He adjusted the damp crotch of his jeans with his clean hand, and looked around for a towel to clean himself up with. “It always sounds really hot in your head, but in practice...”

Adam laughed a little breathlessly and pushed away from the door, dropping his shirt down over the mess on his belly. “In practice, I think it's still pretty hot.” He came up behind Monte and bent to swipe his tongue over the curve of Monte's ear, following it with a little nip.

“Yeah, it was pretty hot, even if I feel like I'm sixteen again,” Monte agreed, a crooked grin on his face as he turned to face Adam, a wad of Kleenex in one hand doing a piss-poor job of cleaning up his hand and stomach before he tossed to box to Adam. “Let's get cleaned up and get back out there, we'll never hear the end of it if they have to load all the gear themselves.”

“We'll never hear the end of it anyways, no way these are going to get this mess out of our shirts.” Adam gestured to the spreading stain on the front of his shirt, and then to the matching one on Monte's, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes.

Monte shrugged and grinned back, tossing an arm up and Adam's shoulders as they headed for the door. “We'll just tell them it's their job to buy the wet-naps.” Adam's answering laugh was swallowed by the noise of the club, and they were only met with a few raised eyebrows as they got down to work, packing up what was left of the gear and heaving it out to the van. If this was rock and roll, he could definitely get used to it.

~*~

After that night, things between Adam and Monte, both on-stage and off, kept going further and further until Adam had to wonder if they'd ever go too far. Adam ended up on his knees nearly every show, bending back until his head nearly touched the floor and his back was arched in a gorgeous line. Monte would play over top of him, sometimes straddling Adam's hips, sometimes with one foot planted firmly between Adam's spread legs, pressing up against the bulge trapped in his tight jeans. Adam slunk around the stage like a cat on the prowl, sidling up behind Monte and singing into his ear, his tongue sometimes darting out to follow the curve there. His hand snaked down Monte's chest, fingers slipping into the open neckline of his shirt before moving lower, fitting into the space behind his guitar and splaying over Monte's belly. When Adam felt like testing the line between too far and not far enough he let his hand slide even lower, cupping Monte's cock through his jeans, squeezing to see if he could get Monte's fingers to skip on the strings. He never could, but that didn't mean he'd stop trying.

One night, Adam got closer to that line than he ever had before. The crowd was loud and responsive, the biggest yet, and the band was tighter than they'd ever been. During their encore, Adam had walked purposefully across the stage, stopped singing and dropped to his knees, his hands grabbing hard onto the back of Monte's thighs, his face as close to Monte's guitar as he could get it. He looked up at Monte with mischief and heat in his eyes and closed the final distance, his tongue hot and wet as it played over Monte's hand and down between fingers that never even fumbled on the strings. Adam tasted the salt-sweat taste of Monte's skin and the metallic tang of the guitar strings, and when he finally pulled away the crowds screams were ringing almost distantly in his ears. Monte had stumbled back, lips parted and cheeks flushed, and they'd barely got the dressing room door shut behind them before Monte's hand was on Adam's shoulder, and Adam was sinking easily to his knees, grinning up at Monte as his fingers deftly worked open Monte's jeans. If Adam had been thinking about anything other than the heavy weight of Monte's cock on his tongue or the bitter taste sliding down his throat, he might have realized it was the first time they'd gone past quick handjobs and messy kisses.

Outside of performing, Adam could hardly have imagined things getting any better. They'd started writing together, him, Monte and the rest of the guys, and the music was coming fast and furious. Adam had tinkered with writing songs before, fooled around on his computer making beats and writing lyrics, but that had been nothing like this. This felt organic, like they were all one giant _thing_ working together, until Adam couldn't remember if the words or the music had come first. The first time they performed a song that he had a hand in writing, that he was singing words that he had written, he thought his heart was going to thump right out of his chest. He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face as soon as the song was over, one fist punched up in the air as the crowd cheered, not knowing how much that applause meant to him. Monte spun his guitar around to his back and wrapped an arm tight around Adam's waist, holding him close enough that Adam could hear his words even over the crowd's voices. “How does it feel, rock star? They're all cheering for you.”

Adam didn't answer, not with words, but he turned his huge grin down to Monte and then bent to kiss him, not the urgent, needy kisses they usually shared backstage, but a slow, burning kiss, deep and long. Monte tensed against him briefly, but then relaxed, his hand coming off the strap of his guitar to rest on Adam's waist, pulling him closer even as the crowd’s cheers turned to whooping and surprised laughter. When Adam pulled back, he saw his own grin reflected on Monte's face, and when he turned he saw the guys clapping and whooping along with the crowd. Adam gestured for them all to come forward and they took one big bow, all of them together, and Adam leaned in so Monte could hear him over the din, lips pressed close to Monte's ear. He was answering Monte's question, but as the words left his mouth he wondered if maybe he was answering another question that had been left unasked. “It feels fucking amazing.”

It might be a cliche to say that everything changed after that night, but just because something is a cliche doesn't make it untrue. It was the kind of change that was gradual and then sudden, no one thing striking anyone as new until they looked back and realized how far they'd come. It started simply enough, with them sitting closer on the couches then they used to, the lines of Adam's body pressed tight to Monte's, an arm slung easily over Monte's shoulder as he plucked at his guitar. Monte's hand resting on Adam's thigh, fingers rubbing idle circles there while the band talked and wrote. The day Monte came in with his hands full of take-out coffee, and Adam leapt up to help him, a grin on his face. When Monte leaned up to kiss Adam hello and thanks, the fact that it was the first time they'd kissed so casually was lost in the easiness of the gesture, the comfort of it.

“You busy tomorrow night?” The day was almost over, most of the instruments packed up as Adam walked around the small space, gathering up water bottles and take-out cartons. Without any gear of his own to worry about, he usually got stuck on garbage duty.

“I don't think so, what's up?” Monte answered, snapping the locks shut on his one of his guitar cases.

Adam shrugged, tossing a handful of trash into the bin and wiping his hands on his jeans. His palms were starting to sweat, and he actually felt his mouth go a little dry as he started to answer Monte. “I've kind of been working on something, a song.”

“You have? That's awesome!” Monte grinned up at Adam, wide and honest and easy, and the knot in Adam's stomach loosened a little.

This wasn't the first time Adam had written something on his own; he'd spent hours fiddling around on his computer making beats, writing poppy lyrics for club anthems, but this was different. This was about more than just him, it was about the whole band. It was the first time Adam had brought them a song he'd started on his own, and even though it was just lyrics and a vague melody, and even though he felt really good about it, there were definitely nerves. He really thought it was good, but he trusted Monte more than he trusted himself on this one. “It's mostly just lyrics and the start of a melody right now, but I wanted to run it by you before I brought it to the whole band.” Adam smiled to himself, a little ruefully, picking at the deep green polish on his fingernails.

Monte stood, picking up a guitar case in each hand. “Oh man, for sure. I can't wait to hear it! Should I bring dinner?”

Adam let out a breath, the last of the tension in his belly uncoiling. “Unless you're in the mood for plain spaghetti, I'm going to say yes.” He grinned, watching as Monte struggled to carry both guitars and the various other bags he brought to the studio every day. “Here, let me.” Adam reached out and took one of the guitar cases, heaved Monte's backpack up onto his own shoulder, and was rewarded with the smile he was coming to think of as _his_ , the one other people got to see, but was never directed at them. As he helped Monte out to his car, Adam wondered if he had a smile that was just for Monte.

~*~

Adam was just pulling the cork out of a bottle of cheap red wine when he heard the door buzzer go off. He set the wine on the counter and walked to the door, pushing the button to call down to the lobby. “Hey, do you need a hand?”

“No, I got it. I'll be right up.” Monte's voice crackled through the tinny speaker, and Adam felt the smile spread across his face even as his thumb moved to push the button that would let Monte in to the building. He moved back to the counter and poured the wine into two unmatched glasses, taking a quick swallow of his own before refilling the glass just as he heard a quick rap at his door.

He opened to door to find Monte practically weighted down, his backpack slung over one shoulder, guitar in one hand and huge bag of food balanced precariously on his hip “I asked if you needed help!” Adam took the bag of food and carried it the short distance to the kitchen, turning back to take Monte's backpack and point to the chair that served double duty as a coat rack.

“I had it, really. I didn't even drop the fortune cookies.” Monte grinned and pulled a little baggie from his pocket, two fortune cookies wrapped in red accented plastic. “You want to eat first, and then play?”

“Yeah, I'm starving.” He wasn't, really, but he was starting to feel that knot coil up in his stomach again even as he took another swallow of his wine. He grabbed the second glass off the counter and handed it to Monte, their fingers brushing lightly on the stem. “Here, I'll go grab some plates if you'll take the food out of the bag.”

The first bottle of wine was gone even before they'd hit the bottom of the lo mein, and a happy warmth was starting to spread through Adam's limbs. They talked about anything and everything, the conversation coming just as easy as it always did until Adam once again forget that he was supposed to be nervous. He felt a different kind of flutter in his belly when Monte's thigh brushed his under the high counter they were eating at, and he had to restrain himself to only swiping at a drop of sauce on the corner of Monte's mouth with his thumb rather than his tongue. It was a gesture he didn't think twice about, something that felt totally normal until the second his skin touched Monte's. He pulled his hand back quickly, but before he got far, Monte's rough fingers were wrapped gently around his wrist, bringing Adam's hand back to his mouth. Monte's tongue only barely darted out from between his lips to lick the sauce from Adam's thumb, but it was enough to make Adam's blood run hot from more than just the wine.

When Monte released his hand and Adam could breathe again, he grabbed for his wine, draining the glass. He watched as Monte did the same thing, a flush on his cheeks that Adam knew wasn't just from the booze. After a few heavy beats of silence, Monte clapped his hands onto his thighs, turning to Adam with a grin and a raised eyebrow. “So, you ready to show me what you've got?” The twinkle in his eyes was bright and a little bit dirty, and Adam couldn't help the laugh that spilled out. Any bit of uncomfortable tension between them evaporated with Monte's joke, and after a quick trip to drop plates off in the kitchen and open another bottle of wine, they were curled up on Adam's slightly too small couch, each with their back to an arm.

Adam picked up the notebook he'd left on the coffee table, and flipped through it a few times before forcing himself to stop on the page where he'd started the song. He laughed nervously and raked a hand through his hair, shifting a little on the couch. “Jesus, I'm being ridiculous.”

“No, you're not. The fact that you're this nervous ... well, I think it's a good thing.” Monte leaned forward far enough to rest a hand on Adam's knee, squeezing it. “If you didn't have strong feelings about this, I'd be more worried.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right.” Adam relaxed a little, taking a couple deep breaths and reading over the words on the page in front of him, even though he knew them by heart. When he started to sing, the melody came to him as easily as it had the first time, embedded in his brain like it had always been there, just waiting for him to find it. There were parts where he didn't have words yet, but he hummed and vocalized to bridge the gaps, feeling more comfortable the farther into the song he got. About halfway through, he lifted his eyes from the page and fixed them on Monte, who was balancing a notebook on his own lap. Adam could see a few chords scribbled down, but the pen was nowhere to be found, and Monte was totally focused on Adam, the smile on his lips so small and secret, Adam almost missed it.

Adam reached the end of the song and let his voice trail off, grabbing his wine off the coffee table and taking a quick swallow before speaking. “So ...?”

“So, it's really good.” Monte's little smile turned into a wide grin, and he scooted across the couch to pull Adam into a hug. “Seriously, man. I knew you'd be good at this, it sounds awesome.”

Adam let himself slump against Monte a little, nervousness flowing out of him in a rush that combined with the wine to make him feel warm and fuzzy. He pulled back slowly, letting his hand drag across Monte's back and around his waist, sneaking a quick touch of the soft skin just under the hem of Monte's t-shirt. He felt Monte shiver just a little under his touch, and Adam wanted to keep going, wanted to slide his hand higher up Monte's side, but he reluctantly pulled his hand back, leaning against the arm of the couch.

Monte was smiling at him, a smile that was a little bit hazy around the edges from the wine, and Adam hoped a little bit of the tension he was feeling himself. “So what do you say we try and finish it? It's almost there, and I wrote out a few chords while you were playing.” He grabbed his notebook from where it had fallen to the floor when he'd scooted across the floor, and gestured towards his guitar case, leaning against the wall.

Adam matched Monte's grin, beyond excited that Monte thought his song was worth something. “Yeah, let's do it!” He shifted on the couch and made room for them to spread out their papers on the coffee table while Monte got his guitar, and settled back down. Adam refilled their wine glasses, holding the bottle up to the light to see they were getting to the bottom of this one too. Next to him, Monte started playing the chords he'd written out, and Adam's breath caught in his throat when he realized it sounded exactly the way it had in his head. He joined in with his words, Monte following the melody Adam was singing easily, stopping now and then to make another note on his paper, filling the holes in the music one at a time.

They worked easily together, Monte finishing Adam's thoughts, putting down words Adam hadn't thought of, but were perfect. Adam let his voice riff off the melody, and Monte followed it, his guitar complimenting the rise and fall of Adam's voice, supporting it and challenging it all at once. The level of the wine grew lower and they moved closer together on the couch until Adam's side was pressed up against Monte's, close enough that Monte's arm brushed Adam's every time he moved his fingers over the strings. Adam let his hand rest on Monte's thigh, his fingers starting to rub small, almost unnoticeable circles there, teasing up higher as they kept playing. When Adam's fingers slid low enough to graze Monte's inseam, Monte inhaled sharply, his fingers skipping on the strings for the first time in all the time Adam had been trying to do just that. Adam felt a rush of pride and success, and then a rush of something else, his heart thumping hard and slow, his blood burning hot under his skin.

Adam moved carefully, deliberately, wrapping his fingers around the neck of Monte's guitar and setting it gently on the floor. He leaned in close to Monte, his hand skating still higher up Monte's thigh, his breath ghosting over Monte's lips. For a moment, Adam paused, feeling like he should ask permission or just say _something_ , but then Monte was moving, closing the gap. When their lips met, Monte's were dry and a little rough against Adam's, one of his hands sliding around Adam's waist, the other fingering lightly through the hair at the base of Adam's skull. The next thing Adam knew, he was on his back with Monte above him, his legs spread as wide as the couch would allow. The hours of closeness and the wine seemed to put everything into fast forward, the kiss growing deep and hungry as Monte's hands roamed over Adam's body, sliding up underneath his shirt to scrape over heated skin. Adam mirrored Monte's movements, dragging his nails down Monte's back hard enough to make him hiss and dig his teeth into Adam's lower lip.

Monte dragged his mouth away from Adam's and kissed along Adam's jaw, sinking his teeth in just below Adam's ear and then dragging them lower. He bit sharply into the pale skin of Adam's throat and Adam moaned, bucking up against Monte, his cock hard and near-aching in his jeans. Adam could feel Monte grin against his throat, knowing he'd found one of Adam's buttons and he worked it, kissing and licking and sucking and biting all up and down Adam's neck until Adam was panting and writhing beneath him, knowing his neck was going to be a glorious mess of bruises in the morning. He let go of Monte long enough for Monte slip off first Adam's shirt and then his own, and as Adam slid his hands over Monte's bare chest, he realized it was the first time they'd seen each other shirtless. He let his hands glide over Monte's chest and over his shoulder, sliding down his back as Monte lowered his head back to Adam's neck, his tongue swirling around the curves of Adam's ear and sucking the lobe into his month.

When Adam's hands reached the waistband of Monte's jeans, he shoved one inside, cupping Monte's ass and pulling their groins together. Monte groaned against his throat, and Adam could feel that Monte was just as hard as he was. He used his free hand to push back at Monte's chest until he was sitting back on his heels and Adam could get at their pants. There's really no way to get out of rock star-skinny jeans gracefully, and after a few moments of awkward fumbling and one almost fall off the couch, they were both naked, groaning when their cocks finally slid alongside one another, pre-come easing the way. Adam wrapped his long legs around Monte's waist and held them close together, rolling his hips in a deliciously smooth motion that made their breaths catch in their throats.

Monte slipped his hand between their bodies and let his fingers play over the heated flesh of their cocks, pulling himself far enough away to wrap his hand around both of them. He moved his hips in short little thrusts, not stroking with his hand, but rather using it for the friction. Adam's cock twitched in Monte's hand and he dug his nails into the flesh just above Monte's ass, his breath coming out in a rush when Monte's thumb swirled through the pre-come pooling at the head.

“Jesus, Adam.” Monte's voice was tight and strained, and Adam tipped his head up to kiss him, messy and deep until Monte pulled back to keep talking. He spoke quickly, words spilling out of him unevenly while Adam kept rolling his hips and pressing big, open mouth kisses along Monte's jaw. “What do you want? Can I ... Do you ... Fuck, Adam.”

Adam's hips stuttered and Monte's hand moved from their cocks to brace himself against the back of the couch. Adam arched his back and groaned when Monte's cock slid over his, low enough to brush over his balls and then lower, just barely teasing along Adam's ass. Until that moment, Adam wasn't sure how far he wanted this to go, but the idea sprung into his brain fully formed, with an almost frightening kind of clarity. He arched his back again, deeper this time until he felt the head of Monte's cock brush over his hole, both of them letting out a shaky breath. “Fuck me? You want to?”

Monte groaned against Adam's throat and nodded, reluctantly sitting back when Adam shoved gently at his shoulders. Adam's legs were shaking just a little as he hurried to the bathroom, and he could feel Monte's gaze on his back, hot and hungry. When he got back to the couch, Monte was still sitting on his heels where Adam had left him, idly stroking his cock, a little smile curving his lips when Adam settled back down. Monte crawled back over top of Adam and kissed him, the few moments they were apart enough to cool the fire and make the kiss softer and gentler, the hard edges from earlier rounded out. His hands stroked gently down Adam's chest, teasing over his nipples and then lower, fingers scratching through the coarse reddish hair at the base of Adam's cock, before moving low enough to rub gently at Adam's hole.

Adam let his legs fall open as much as he could, one tossed awkwardly over the low back of the couch as he let out a sigh that deepened to a groan when Monte pressed hard enough at Adam's hole to let a dry fingertip slip just inside. Monte wiggled his fingertip just enough to make Adam's breath catch before pulling away, his fingers cool and slick when they returned. Adam moaned when the first finger slid in easy and deep, and when the second finger joined it, his moan was swallowed by Monte's lips on his, his tongue mimicking the movements his fingers were making deep inside Adam.

The air around them felt hot and thick against Adam's skin, and everything felt a little unreal. Monte's fingers were just a little rough and a lot skilled, and his heart was pounding hard enough that he could hear it in his ears. He could feel Monte's cock pressing against his thigh, hard and wet, and twitching every time Adam groaned or rolled his hips down against Monte's fingers. Adam sighed a little sadly when Monte's fingers slipped free from him, but after a quick crinkle of foil Monte was back, and Adam was sighing for a very different reason. Monte's cock was thick, and it had been long enough since Adam had been on this side of things that for a moment the stretch and burn took his breath away.

Monte stilled, leaning down and capturing Adam's lips in a crooked kiss, waiting until Adam started moving back against him before thrusting into him, slow at first and then faster. They moved together the same way they'd written together, easy, and like they'd done it a million times before. When Monte changed his rhythm, and Adam adjusted easily, shifting his hips so Monte's cock hit him in just the right spot on each thrust. Monte's cock was the perfect length for this, slamming right into Adam's prostate until Adam's breath was being pushed out of him in little punches, hot pressure already starting to build low in his belly.

Adam noticed when Monte's thrusts started to become irregular, long, smooth thrusts punctuated with short, shallow ones. He clenched his muscles around Monte, the sound that spilled out of Monte's lips somewhere between a gasp and a whine, and matching the one that came from Adam at the sudden feeling of being extra full. Adam's hand twitched towards his cock, but before he could even move, Monte's hand was there, squeezed between their bodies and wrapped tightly around Adam's leaking cock. It only took a few pulls and a few more of those perfectly aimed strokes and Adam was coming, spilling hot and wet over Monte's hand, smearing messily over their bellies. He cried out, throwing his head back, and above him Monte made a noise that was almost a growl, bending to sink his teeth into the soft skin right at the base of Adam's throat. His teeth were still buried in that skin when his hips stuttered, Adam feeling his moan more than hearing it. Monte's thrusts slowed gradually before stopping completely, and Adam brought his leg down from over the back of the couch to wrap around Monte's hip when he rested heavily on Adam's chest.

Monte was the first one to move, pushing himself up only a little ungracefully. He winced as he pulled the condom off, looking around before turning back to Adam, a sheepish smile on his face. “I have no idea where your bathroom is.”

“Down the hall, first door on the right.” Adam looked down at his stomach, swiping his finger through the mess there and grimacing. “Bring me a washcloth?”

When they'd cleaned up as much as they could, only a few spots left on the couch that would need more work than a damp washcloth, Adam settled back into the cushions, sighing when Monte's arm fell easily around his shoulders. “So, do you think the song's done? Or at least ready to play for the guys?”

Monte's fingers slid into Adam's hair, twirling the soft strands. “I don't know, I think we need to work on it at least once more.” His voice was so dry and level that if Adam didn't know him, he might have taken the words at face value. As it was, a laugh burst out of Adam's chest, sudden and bright, and was soon joined by Monte.

“Well, we do work well together.” Adam grinned, twisting around until he could see the matching grin on Monte's face.

Monte leaned in and brushed his lips over Adam's, light and comfortable. “Yeah, we do.”

~*~

The crowd was huge, easily the biggest crowd Adam had ever performed in front of. They'd landed a gig opening for one of the biggest rock bands around, and tonight was their first show. They'd been working feverishly for weeks, recording and writing and rehearsing, and Adam didn't think he'd ever been so prepared for something in his life. There was only a hint of nervousness flowing through him as he stood in the wings watching as the house lights went down and the crowd roared. He knew they weren't screaming for him, not yet, but he was sure they would be by the time he was done. The other guys were gathering up guitars and drumsticks, slapping each other on the back and pre-emptively celebrating a show well done, and Adam felt a warm hand low on his back. He turned to look down at Monte, that smile that was just for him settled easily on Monte's lips.

“You ready, rock star?”

“You know, I am. Let's do this.” Adam leaned down to brush his lips over Monte's temple, wiping away the faint trace of lip gloss with his thumb just before Monte and band went out on stage. As they started to play, the opening chords of the first song Adam and Monte had written together filled the stadium, and Adam stepped out to face the crowd that he knew would be his by the end of their set. His voice soared up to the rafters, Monte's guitar rising up beneath it, and just like that everything slotted into place. As long as he had Monte behind him, it didn't matter if he was playing stadiums or 200 capacity clubs. This was his dream, and he was living it.


End file.
